Excerpts from Obama's speech to students

The White House released tomorrow's script for President Barack Obama's address to our nation's school children. Below is a list of excerpts from that speech:

... I understand that you may not be excited for the end of summer. When I was a young boy growing up in Kenya, I didn't enjoy school either...

...and yes, safe sex is preferable, but sometimes protection ruins the mood and that's why we have abortion...

... Students (and Comrades), I urge you to study the history of our world (especially Karl Marx) so that you can help us build a better (communist) nation...

.... Those Republican bastards are also the reason why the school cafeteria sometimes runs out of chocolate milk.

...I propose a new tradition in American schools. Let's all start reciting the pledge of allegiance facing the east. On our hands and knees. Five times a day...

...So I expect you to be serious this year. Serious about convincing your parents that socialism is actually pretty awesome...

Pastor refuses to refute; Jesus weeps

Church defends pastor; group rallies against him

"One member, who wore a black polo shirt with a message emblazoned in red, "Hating is not a Crime," strutted in the parking lot. "

How many things are wrong with that statement?
1. No one said it was a crime
2. Hating is wrong regardless of faith or lack of faith. And defending it ranks with defending racism and sexism.

3. A church's purpose is to spread the good news and works of Christ. Christ has nothing to do with hate, or with this pastor.


"Anderson, who briefly emerged from the church door, said "absolutely" to a media question about whether he still believes Obama should die."

When I read this, I saw Samuel L Jackson in my head from Room 1408..."He's an evil f*cking man."

No one should die

just because they cannot afford health care, and no one should go broke just because they get sick. If you agree, consider posting this as your status for the rest of the day.

Tom Horne's on drugs? an illiterate? a racist? or just a jerk?

Obama speech to kids drawing complaints

How goddamn terrible is this? How goddamn terrible is this? The president can't wish our children a great school year and challenge them to take personal responsibility for their education and future? Tom Horne is an asshole. "Too worshipful toward Obama"? Where? Effing where?!? http://www.whitehouse.gov/mediaresources/

Few hated Obama's predecessor more than I, but Bush would've won me over if he had done the same thing...

Update:

This isn't a liberal/conservative, dem/reb, Obama/McCain, or pro/con health care reform issue. This is about slapping our president, our Commandeer-in-Chief, in the face as he extends a hand to our students who, as a whole, so desperately need to be pushed by someone other than their teachers.

Jonathon Swift would be proud

Obama urges everyone to frequently wash hands to minimize impact of H1N1. Conservatives lambast president for pushing socialist hygienic values. Glenn Beck reveals in a special two hour investigative report that Hitler also washed his hands, using soap made from dead Jews. While urging everyone to interrupt town hall meetings to protest soap, Beck also reveals that the administration's appointed Swine Flu "czar", Dr. Richard Besser, has a pet cat named Snowball, drawing reference to one of the pig characters in Animal Farm, the satirical novel about communism. Coincidence? He reports, you decide.

(thanks, Jed)